Have you ever felt that you are not be enough?
I mean, deep, deep, deep down inside....have you ever thought to yourself:
- Why is it I just can't get an A in maths?
- Why does everyone else have a plan / direction in life and I don't?
- Why can't I find a decent paying job?
- Why can't I draw, paint, sing, even though I try so hard?
- How is it that I singlehandedly messed up my kid's life?
- Why can't i save any money?
And if you do have a talent or gift, why is it that you can't excel?
- Why didn't I win my race evn though I trained 40 hours a week?
- Why didn't I get into an IVY league school, even though I studied so much?
Personally, I have thoughts like these constantly - feelings of self doubt and insecurities have been plaguing me from as far back as i can remember.
Obviously, I can only speak for myself, but I think that my issue lies in the fact that I have an innate fear of failing.
I have failed many times before and I hate that feeling. It gives me a sense of self loathing. So naturally I want to play it safe, and not venture out. Not take that risk.
But the question is, will I ever achieve anything if I don't try?
Which is worse? The feeling or self-hate or me never achieving anything (which in turn makes me feel worthless)? I really don't know
Another thing I have realized, is maybe if I stopped comparing myself to others, my feelings of inadequacy may be less. But then how will I know if I measure up to the minimum standard?
My thoughts.....
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