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Good Morning My Fellow Introverts,

Have you ever heard the famous quote by Alexander Pope "To Err Is Human?" If you are in the land of the living, I'm sure that you must have at some point in time. This beautiful and authentic quote seems to hold true for everything under the sun except medicine.

In the medical field, you have to be perfect. You have to be flawless. You have to be accurate. Because if you fail to meet that target, human beings, actual people with lives, and kids, and loved ones can suffer. They can have irreparable complications. They can die. So I dare say that we, as medical professionals, are held to a higher standard that any other profession in the world. But maybe I am biased....Because, come to think of it, pilots need to be exact in their skill too, else the outcome can be catastrophic. 

Anyway, let me tell you guys about a particular incident which I believe demonstrates why we have to be precise with zero room for error. Picture this, me, a young doctor in training, working in the Emergency Room on an extremely busy night shift. There are only 3 doctors on shift and about 50 patients to be seen. In comes a 30 year old healthy-looking lady  complaining of a sudden onset of severe pain left leg. There was no history trauma. I quickly saw her, found nothing wrong with her leg. I ordered some analgesia and then proceeded to see some of the other really sick peolpe. A few chest pains, a few abdominal pains, a patient with a bleed in the brain, and the list goes on and on...

After about 90 mins, my senior resident walks in and ordered me to take a one hour break. She had just woken up and was feeling refreshed. I handed over my patients and took a very welcomed power nap.

Imagine my horror when I came back out on the floor, and saw 8 surgeons gathered around the young lady with the leg pain. They all looked at me, and shook their heads. The chief surgeon yelled at me "What is wrong with you, how could you miss an acute limb?" For those of you who may not know, acute limb ischaemia is a condition where there is a sudden blockage to the arteries in the legs. If blood flow is not restored in suuficient time, it can lead to necrosis and death of the muscles in the limb. The chief surgeon ensured that he took the opportunity right then and there to inform me (and the rest of the department) that he will be taking this young lady to the operating room and it is very unlikely that he will be able to save her limb. So he would likely have to amputate and it is 100% my fault (and yes, for the sake of this blog, I am editing his sentences, and removing the expletives)

To say that I was devastated would be an understatement. To this day, I do not know how I made it through the remainder of that shift. And in retrospect, I would say that I do agree with the surgeon.... In the rush and the pressure to cut down on the number of patients waiting to be seen, it is possible that I did not examine this young lady, properly. I thought I did, In fact, I was certain I had felt her pulses. I had even written that she had good pulses, but maybe it was my own pulse I was feeling. 

Experience has taught me to ensure the my clinical findings and the patients complaint add up, and to check it over and over again if 2 + 2 does not equal 4. 

But I think I have proved my point, as a MD espcially one who works in a fast paced environment, there is no room for error. You have to think quickly on your feet and act even more quickly. Else, you can cause the loss of limb and life, and as icing on top of that cake, you will also have to live with that burden for the remainder of your life. 

Until next time

MDSaga signing out

One of the things about being a MD, is that you are expected to have empathy. It is a trait that is drilled into all of us from day 1 of medical school.

Don't misunderstand me, it is a beautiful and admirable quality, but over the years I have realized that it can be couterproductive to be too empathetic. It can actually get into the way of good patient care.

For example...many, many years ago, when I was a young intern, I was assigned to the cardiology service for 3 months. I treated many patients during those months but I remember one particulary well. He was a 50 year old gentleman who was a known diabetic and hypertensive. He was admitted to the cardiiology unit for further investigations because he had been having these recurrent episodes of syncope (fainting), but no one was sure of the cause.

This gentleman was truly a nice person. Many days, after I had finished my ward work, we would sit and chat for hours. He confided in me about his life, work and family among other things, and we became realtively close. I considered him a friend. 

In the third week of his admission, he started to have these episodes where immediately after eating, he would have feelings of impending doom, and would become drenched in sweat. The nurses routinely paged me, and we would perform electrocardiograms, cardiac enzymes and various blood investigation, but they would be absolutely normal. This would occur two or three times a day. After a few days of this, he refused to have any further blood test done, and would only want me to sit by his bedside and hold his hand until the sensation passed. This would take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, but each time I would come to his bedside and hold his hand, until...

One day, I was given the opportunity to see a couple of patients in the cardiology clinic. To me this was a magnificient opportunity and a welcomed change from my mundane ward work which consisted mainly of drawing bloods and organizing various test for the admitted patients. I was happily doing my thing, when just like clockwork, my pager went off at lunch time, and I knew what that meant, my friend was feeling unwell. However, I was in the middle of discussing my clinic patient with the attending (the senior doctor), so I couldn't respond immediately.

And then I heard it over the intercom....code blue in the cardiology unit. I felt my stomach lurch and I dropped everything and just ran. I was unaware that tears were streaming down my face. When I reached his bedside, I saw the critcal care team performing CPR. I just remembered knocking the person doing compressions out of the way and I jumped on his chest. At this point I was sobbing out loud. After some time....I'm not sure how long, one of the senior attendings took me off the patient and escorted me to an empty consultation room. To say I was devastated, would've been an understatement. 

I felt as if I had failed my friend. When he needed me the most, I wasn't there. Maybe if I had been there, I would've been able to save him (unlikely... but at the time, that's how I felt). I remember clearly the words of my attending at the debriefing session - "MDSaga, do not get emotionally involved with patients, it makes you ineffective as a physician. At the bedside, you were not helping your patient at all. You were a weeping mess!!' 

His words may seem harsh but in hindsite they were 100% true. This was one of my lessons as a young doctor, and it helped pave my way in medicine somewhat. It helped me realize that I did not want to be involved into a field of medicine where I could get attached to my patients.

That's all for now.... MDSaga signing out. 

The other day I was on Amazon.com, just looking around.....No, I was not shopping...even though, I admit....I LOVE TO SHOP

Please ignore those items in my cart. I only put them there for decoration 

Anyway, back to the story....I saw a book entitled- "How To Talk To Anyone - 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships' by leil Lowndes. It had a 4.5 star rating from over 11,500 perosns. So immediately my interest was piqued (that's not a word that i use often), so I decide that I am going to chance the $10.59 (inclusive of shipping) and try it. 

I am happy to say that I received it... And it starts off with a quote which says:

There are two kinds of people in this life: Those who walk into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who walk in and say, "Ahhh, there you are."

Ooooo, I am so excited to delve into this book. I will let you know how it goes. Here's hoping that I after reading this, I can transition to the first type of person that the book is referring to.....

So this morning I had an epiphany, I will do a bit of research on Chat Gpt on the 5 best ways to make friends. And surely this much talked about AI system will be able to clearly delineate a path that anyone (including me, a self proclaimed introvert) can follow. Making a couple friends is probably not the worse thing in the world, because it would be nice to have someone to talk to sometimes, instead of being so isolated ....Spoiler alert.....Boy, did AI seriously disappoint!!!

Anyway, this is what it said:

1) Initiate Contact...I don't even know if I should even justify this with a response. But I will. How in the world am i supposed to do this, when even the thought of approaching someone, puts me in an extreme state of panic? I can literally feel my heart jump out of my chest, my mouth taste like dust and all thoughts leave my brain. I am like a walking zombie!!

2) Be Approachable and Positive....what does it want me to do? Smile?....Ammmmm...no. Because then someone might just approach me and then it's point # 1 all over again

3)Active Listening.....well I can listen. I'm actually quite good at this, but......in order for me to have someone to listen to, i would have to be in an actual conversation. No one is going to come up to me and just start chatting so that I can listen, without any input from me. And what am i suppose to say in an actual converstaion?

4)Voluneteer / Attend Events...Now for this one I'm definitely not going to answer....Sigh.... Chat Gpt and I had such high hopes for you. I even started off by saying that I had an Epiphany. That's not a word that I use eveyday

5) Utilize Online Platforms....So this may be its one saving grace.... 1 out of 5 is what? 20%. So as you can see I am trying the online platform method. It seems to have some potential. Here, I can talk a bit about myself  and have a discussion. There is no time line to find the right words. It's at my own pace. I can delete and rewrite sentences. And in so doing, I can read what I'm about to say as many times as I like before pressing save or publish. So it's less likely for me to say something wrong or completely silly. And if I just so happen to post something stupid, I can delete it, and save myself embarrassment

Anyway, thanks for trying Mr AI system aka Chat GPT.

What would be nice is if persons would actually respond to my post.... Maybe it's too much to ask

Happiness, that elusive and subjective emotion, has been the pursuit of humanity for as long as history can recount. From ancient philosophers to modern self-help gurus, the quest for happiness has remained a central theme in human existence. But could it be that happiness is nothing more than an illusion, a fleeting state of mind that evades our grasp? Let's delve into this question and explore the complexities surrounding the concept of happiness.

**The Illusion of Permanence**

One argument for happiness being an illusion lies in its impermanence. Human emotions are constantly in flux, and what makes us happy today might not have the same effect tomorrow. This transience can give the impression that happiness is a fleeting mirage, disappearing just as we think we've captured it. However, proponents of this view often overlook the nuanced nature of emotions. Just as sadness or anger can be transient, so too can moments of genuine happiness. It's the diversity of emotional experiences that adds depth to our lives

**The Hedonic Treadmill**

The hedonic treadmill theory suggests that humans have a baseline level of happiness to which they inevitably return despite positive or negative events. This phenomenon implies that no matter how many achievements or possessions we accumulate, our happiness tends to revert to a set point. While this might seem to bolster the argument that happiness is an illusion, it's essential to recognize that the theory does not account for the influence of personal growth, meaningful relationships, or the power of perspective. True happiness might not be about reaching a constant state of euphoria but rather finding contentment amid life's fluctuations.

**The Complexity of Comparison**

The rise of social media and constant connectivity has fueled the propensity for people to compare their lives with others'. This tendency can foster feelings of inadequacy and diminish one's sense of happiness. It's true that comparing ourselves to carefully curated online personas can lead to a distorted sense of reality. Yet, it's crucial to remember that genuine happiness is not found by measuring up to external standards but by aligning with one's own values and aspirations.

**The Pursuit of Meaning**

While fleeting pleasures might fade, the pursuit of meaning can offer a more lasting sense of contentment. Engaging in activities that align with our values, building meaningful relationships, and contributing to something greater than ourselves can infuse our lives with a profound sense of purpose. This purpose-driven happiness is far from illusory; it's a testament to the human capacity to derive satisfaction from the depth of experience rather than just the surface-level joys. 

 In conclusion, labeling happiness as a complete illusion oversimplifies the complexity of human emotions. While happiness might not be a constant, unattainable state, it's far from a mirage. It's a dynamic, evolving aspect of our lives that responds to our mindset, circumstances, and choices. Rather than dismissing happiness as an illusion, we should embrace the ebb and flow of emotions, understanding that the pursuit of meaning and the cultivation of contentment are integral to a fulfilling life. So, is happiness an illusion? Not entirely, but rather a multifaceted journey that requires introspection, resilience, and a willingness to find joy in the present moment.

In today's fast-paced world, finding meaningful connections can be challenging. The digital age has brought us closer in many ways, yet it often feels like we're farther apart than ever. The constant pressure of presenting a curated image and the obsession with visual perfection can hinder genuine interactions. That's where Introverts Only comes in – a unique online platform designed to foster real conversations without the pressure of pictures or pretense.